AN INSPIRATIONAL THOUGHT

From my 1880s meditation book: "When we do our work in the great present...we are like to Him with whom there is no past or future...We walk without fear, full of hope and courage and strength to do His will, waiting for the endless good which He is always giving as fast as He can get us able to take it in." G. Mc Donald .....sent by 12 Step Jan
To our Readers: If you would like to share an inspirational thought or a saying that perked your ears at a meeting and helped your recovery, please send it to hngbook@gmail.com .

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Learning to live on the planet


My career path takes me many places and one of my callings in life is travel, so I am happy when I am traveling. I write about the people I see, the products that are produced in the business of manufacturing a certain product (candy! chocolate!) and also to events where alcohol is free and open to get. This didn't make me an alcoholic, only enabled the progression of the obsession of the mind and allergy of the body the Big Book says we have.
At any rate, I'm home. And since I am waiting for my husband to also come home from his travels at a different location, thought I'd share my thoughts online. I know it would feel better to share my words face-to-face with fellow AAs but it's my choice to write them tonight.
The first special event took me to a famous chef's restaurant in honor of a soul-friend's retirement. Beginning with a small reception, the dinner progressed similarly to one in the film, CHOCOLAT (2000 release) with all kinds of cacao products in nine desserts at the ending. Of course there were flights of wine for the foodies, and I was the only one not drinking. I asked the waiter for a coke, and he finally remembered and we shared a forgiving smile. Sometimes I reflect that the servers and I are the only ones not affected by the alcohol; other times, the proximity to it brings thoughts that I might prefer to ignore. I can't really not go, but I am thinking of making retirement more of a priority. The second event was an awards ceremony and another must-attend for yours truly. I wouldn't miss it as I used to be in charge of this group and it's nice to be an observer rather than a participant. I like my cola, and I had two. I was getting annoyed at this one, because what did I see but an old resentment that I have not yet had the chance to do my 9th step with. In fact, the only time I run into this problem is at parties when I notice the behavior that I used to have. I know one is not supposed to do 12th step work when people are still choosing to do their drinking, and I think it's probably not a good idea to try one's 9th step, either. So, I just obsessed about it for 24 hours and am happy I don't have to live like that anymore. I may never be able to do anything about this one, so have to accept it as just a reminder. Talking to a sponsor might help, but it won't take away the situation. It felt a little like early sobriety, in fact, rather than having a few 24-hours under my belt. It was time to come home. That's all I know, and I'm sure more will be revealed. I do admit I'm powerless, and my life had become unmanageable for the moment, but wow, I took my notes, my pictures, congratulated the winners and said hello to everyone, even the resentment. Maybe that's a living amends. Maybe I'll simply be grateful I'm home. Thanks for letting me share.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Desert Ephemerals


Desert Ephemera's are wildflowers that have learned to flourish in a harsh environment that swings moodily from drought years to those more blessed by monsoon rains. The blossoming plants drop seeds that lay dormant, sometimes for years, until conditions are just right for them to grow again. When the plants grow and blossom they are the more glorious for their rarity. This was just such a year. Fields of yellow and orange poppies interspersed with strips of blue lupines, and along the roadsides clouds of yellow brittle bush. One can only spread arms wide and say, "Thank you God!"

And so, their season ends as does ours. We have mingled seeds here with our friends and loved ones, kind words, kind deeds, shared experiences and now we must move on to our other life and if the monsoons come in the fall we will return energized, or if there is drought we will come back to commiserate. But it is hard to tear ourselves away, to accept change, even when loved ones and old friends await our arrival. We go through a period of disorientation that is disconcerting, but experience tells us if we keep close to the program and be patient with ourselves, soon the other place will wrap us in its charms and then we will hate to leave there. Goodbye Tucson; hello O hi o.
Verge and Michael