AN INSPIRATIONAL THOUGHT

From my 1880s meditation book: "When we do our work in the great present...we are like to Him with whom there is no past or future...We walk without fear, full of hope and courage and strength to do His will, waiting for the endless good which He is always giving as fast as He can get us able to take it in." G. Mc Donald .....sent by 12 Step Jan
To our Readers: If you would like to share an inspirational thought or a saying that perked your ears at a meeting and helped your recovery, please send it to hngbook@gmail.com .

Saturday, February 21, 2009

How Does My Garden Grow?

When I was going to AA meetings, often, but still drinking inbetween, I would occasionally look around the rooms and kind of imagine what it would be like to be sober. Of course, being a daily drinker, fantasy sobriety was the best I could experience. In young sobriety, I would ponder,"What's my responsibility in my recovery, versus what do I have to let a higher power do?" I brainstormed a lot (storms were basically all my brain contained back then).

This week, while thrilling to the fun of "watching up" my winter garden, I not only saw true leaves emerging on carrots and radishes, but I received a moment of clarity, too. For about six years, I haven't had a garden. More than once, I have tilled the soil and imagined the various rows of winter vegies waiting for me to visit and munch down on the spot. But, again, fantasy gardening was what I had.

Now, god and I have actually planted a garden. This experience is one of the reasons I keep as close to the meetings, program and fellowship as possible. Without participating, I could only imagine sobriety and new potatoes.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

The Spotting Scope

Recently, a kind friend loaned us a spotting scope, I believe partly to keep me occupied while my shoulder was healing from surgery. Michael set the tripod where we could view the Catalina Mountains. The very first time I looked in the viewfinder, a fledgling Cooper’s hawk awkwardly landed on a neighbor’s roof directly in the scope’s sight. Each feather, each bar on his chest, his talons, all were clearly visible as he teetered and hungrily eyed the doves and quails at our feeder. I was instantly captivated and a few days later when my son invited us to go on a hike around Parker Canyon Lake, I asked if we should bring the scope. He happily agreed as he’s recently developed an interest in bird watching.

It is a cool day, perfect for a walk. Right off we take turns viewing the many kinds of waterfowl through the scope and binoculars. Michael’s lot is to carry the scope on the tripod, as my arm is rendered useless by doctor’s orders for assisted movement only. We meander along exclaiming, “Look, it’s got red eyes”; “Could that one be a plover; see how long his legs are?” and “Darn, I can’t find this duck in the book.”

Michael’s tells this part best:
I am not a “birder”, but I do like birds. I have several feeders around the house both in Cleveland and in Tucson, and I feed them every day despite Virginia’s chiding. I think birders are an altogether committed lot, admirable in their dedication to seeing and identifying every feathered creature on planet Earth. I admire their focus and determination, but I find them very amusing. I especially like the way they travel in groups and tend to set up their equipment or move it, in unison, the way birds flock then fly at some undetectable que. And the hats they wear! That said, here I am marching along the shore of the lake with Virginia and her son, a birder, complete with equipment, hat and books, pointing and identifying like a pro. Then comes the glitch. Bird books. If you have ever looked for them in bookstores they proliferate faster than they can be put on the shelves. An anonymous bird cannot possibly exist; yet try to identify one in the field by looking in a bird book. Scrutinize the bird in the scope, memorize it’s every marking and habit, quick, look through the color coded book—think, think, riffle, riffle, search, “Nope, not that one…. nor that.” Another book. “This bird doesn’t exist!”

The day slips away and suddenly the terrain gets steeper. Happily absorbed, we suddenly realize that a couple of hidden inlets we had walked around made what originally seemed a reasonable walk around the lake into what was swiftly becoming a daunting trek with still more hidden inlets now visible. My arm, newly out of a sling, begins to complain mightily. My son has a worried look when a side trail that promises an access road peters out on a rocky outcrop. We retrace our path and decide to go back the way we had come. Michael hails a friendly young man fishing on the bank who had waved to us when we first passed. “How far is it back to the boathouse?” He said it was about three miles, but the access road up the hill was shorter. He might have heard a note of desperation in Michael’s voice, because he said, “I’m through fishing for the day and I was just going up to my truck. Why don’t you follow me and I’ll give you a lift. The gifts of a sober life: a trusting friend wanting to loan an expensive piece of equipment, sharing an adventure with loved ones, and a stranger doing a kind deed. In the drinking days, seldom was an adventure not ruined by alcohol, was a friend without a selfish motive, or a stranger without guile. Certainly never would they have converged in the round scope of a single day.

Reacting with Fear

Through most of my sober years, I have been able to meet life on life's terms well enough to experience many of the gifts AA has to offer. The past several months, however, I have been struggling. The saying, "It's not what happens to us in life that matters, it's how we react" is kind of ringing in my ears. I am reacting with fear much more so than usual. Of course, I think no one else can possibly understand. Some experience, strength and hope, please.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Staying Teachable

Since I moved to this area twelve years ago I have been regularly attending a Step Meeting on Monday nights.
About 7 months ago, the Group that hosts this meeting asked me if I would take the six month commitment as Treasurer. I was quick to point out that I was not a Group Member, and that I thought the position would best be filled by one of their members. I was rather surprised when they said "we don't care what you think, will you do it?
I remembered back to when I was new and full of ideas & thoughts, and eager to share them with others. One day my then sponsor Frank said to me, " what we do is what counts, not what we think, and besides most of our ideas are "old ideas". And holding onto old ideas gives us old results. So stop talking, and start doing!"
With that memory, and knowing from experience that this was a Traditions based group, I accepted.
I fulfilled that commitment, and two weeks ago was 'rotated' into a six month commitment as Secretary.
I have to say that I am thoroughly enjoying this experience. It has reinforced my understanding of how our experiences can benefit others, and theirs can benefit us. It has given me new insight into the practice of steps 10 & 11, as well as AA's three legacies. By practicing UNITY with other groups through SERVICE to them, we can help strengthen our own RECOVERY.

Losses in Life

My Mother-in-law passed away early this morning. She was 91 and lived a good long life. Dad, who never quite drinking, passed away five years ago. Even though there were many family issues relating to Alcoholism I am thankful that with Gods help we were able to let go of them. Our sobriety was never spoken of or accepted even after 30+ years. It just wasn't talked about. My husband with my support chose what kind of son he wanted to be and had that relationship with them. Somehow when you are proactive rather than reactive you are no longer a victim. We are thankful for the relatively good relationship we had with them over these many years and extremely thankful that we had the maturity that only the 12 Steps can give. This program is truly a program for living. It is always there for us to turn to in all our life challenges.

Friday, February 13, 2009

One Day At A Time

I am so thankful for the AA program and the 12 steps. It was difficult to me to live one-day-a time when I first came to the program. And, at times, I still have difficulty with it. Even after 34 years. Today, I am able to live in the present moment enough that I have peace and serenity in my life. But, there is the temptation to look back at the past and worry about the future. Especially in stressful times when my emotional balance is off. But, then I remember that the God of my understanding is in the present moment and if I stay there He will be with me and I "will soon realize God is doing for me what I couldn't do for myself."